A couple of weeks ago, I stood at the back door watching the heavy rain flood our porch. Parts of it were 3-4" under water. As I stood there, I prayed, "Lord, we so desperately need the rain, but not so much at one time. Lord, please give us a reprieve." Within minutes, the rain stopped. God knew that the earth couldn't handle any more water.
At that time, I felt like I was drowning. Gram was so sick, J had been out of work for a month and a half, we were trying to survive on one paycheck, my job was extra stressful and burdensome, I was trying to keep the house in order and be a good wife while working full time and doing all kinds of things on the side to stretch our one paycheck, our marriage was being stretched with the stress and pressure we were both under. The Holy Spirit showed me that this season of our lives was like our backyard during that rainstorm. Though it felt like I was underwater, God knew what my limit was. God knew exactly how much I could handle before I would drown. He reminded me of His faithfulness to His word and His sovereignty in our lives. He wasn't unaware of everything going on, but exactly the opposite. He not only knew what was happening, He was intimitely involved in every detail. He was insuring that we would grow more into His image with ever increasing glory during this season. I prayed for a reprieve from so many challenges all at once. It was shortly after that, when Jesus peacefully took Gram to be with Him (on May 11). There was no more worry about tests and surgeries and big decisions and being with her every day. I felt like a load had been taken off of my chest. I wasn't frantically gasping for air, but I was still treading water...still so tired.
Things at home were still pretty stressful and wearing on me. I cried a lot, because I didn't know what else to do. Sunday I shared life's drama with Libby, who's been discipling me, and she made things so simple. When I admitted my desire to obey and change whatever He asked of me and when I admitted my helplessness to change on my own and the lack of knowledge of how to change, reprieve came. This week has been delightful! J started not one, but two jobs!! He's working part time at Starbucks and got the perfect job at Gateway Ambulance as an EMT. He'll be making much more than he was at Office Depot and it sounds like God custom designed this job for him! Order has returned to our home as well as peace and joy. We're thankful for this hard season, because we've learned some priceless leasons. We know that this new season won't last forever, but we welcome the reprieve. Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness.