Monday, December 21, 2009

A Letter to the Baby

To the sweet little life entrusted to our care,

On Sunday evening, December 20, 2009, you were just 8 weeks old in my womb. You were precious from the beginning, and we were already so excited to meet you! However, over the next few hours and days we would learn exactly how precious you are.

I began spotting, which made me a little worried for your life. I did some research to see if I had cause to be concerned about a miscarriage. My concern was confirmed that spotting was an early sign of miscarriage, and I learned that if that's what was happening, there wasn't a thing anyone could do to help you. Our good friend, Mary Schutz (a labor/delivery nurse) confirmed what I'd learned, but prayed with me and comforted me. I felt so overwhelmed that I couldn't help you, my sweet baby.

The spotting continued that evening. Daddy was very concerned for you and for me. He began to pray. He called out to our Mighty God and King to save your life. Through tears, we acknowledged that God is the Author of Life. We confessed that He created you and numbered your days before you were even conceived. We prayed that God would show his power and his mercy and save you or raise you from the dead. God, and ONLY God, could save you. Daddy prayed for the Holy Spirit to bring peace so that we could rest.

As we were trying to fall asleep, the Holy Spirit reminded me of Hannah in the Bible. Hannah longed for children and she cried before the Lord to bless her and open her womb. God heard Hannah and answered her cry. When her firstborn, Samuel, was born, she knew he was a gift, and she gave him back to the Lord. The Holy Spirit reminded me of the names we had picked out for you. If you are a boy, your name means a gift made by the Lord. If you are a girl, your name means joyfully consecrated to the Lord. Sweet baby, we long to meet you and hold you, but we know that you belong to the Lord. He has given you to us, but we dedicate your life back to the Lord. We will treasure you as the gift from the Lord that you are, however long you may be a part of our lives on this earth. As one more measure of peace before I drifted off to sleep, the Holy Spirit put the song, "Mighty to Save" by Hillsong Australia in my heart. I've heard it before, but it was so much more powerful at that moment. I've written out the words for you, but the part that kept running through my mind was, "My Saviour, He can move the mountains, My God is Mighty to save, He is Mighty to save. Forever, Author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave."

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.


Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

My Saviour, you can move the mountains,
You are mighty to save,
You are mighty to save.
Forever, Author of Salvation,
You rose and conquered the grave,
Yes you conquered the grave


God was beginning to open my eyes to just how precious you truly are.

I slept peacefully, though I spotted more through the night. When I woke up, the Holy Spirit didn't give fear or worry a chance, as He put these lyrics in my head, "Life, life, fullness of life. And joy in the presence of the Lord!" Little One, you are loved! Mommy and Daddy love you so much! You are precious to us, but I will never understand how precious you are to the One who made you. I can't even begin to imagine how much Jesus loves you and how precious you are to him. He created you and formed you with His own hands. He has given you life, and He has sustained your life. Little One, you are destined to do great things for our God and His Kingdom. At least in our family, you will forever be a reminder that life is a wonderful gift.

New life is an incredible gift, but ETERNAL life is the best gift of all. How perfect God's timing to remind us of the most precious gift of all. On Christmas, God GAVE His only Son, Jesus, to save the world. To give us eternal life.

"Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of this precious baby. Thank you for life and life again. Thank you for your life. Thank you, Father, for the gift of Jesus and the gift of eternal life."

Love always,

Mommy

2 comments:

blissful_e said...

Oh the roller coaster of emotion!

You expressed this so beautifully.

Praise God for his Holy Spirit, your loving husband, this new baby life, and for the peace and wisdom God is giving you this Christmas season.

Blessings,
~Elisa

Reed09 said...

I happened to stumble across your blog. I pray that everything works out for the best!